That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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