no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
