On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
