i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
