I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
