I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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