I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
