right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize