i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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