how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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