Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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