I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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