i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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