I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
"it" just moved
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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