O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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