I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
