My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Fuck appropriateness.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize