In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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