did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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