when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
