you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
