My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
