Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize