You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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