Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
