I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
