So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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