did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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