his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
