Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I came so hard my ears popped.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
