did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
