alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
