The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
