I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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