Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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