Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
