please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
