Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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