sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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