She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
His nipple licking is glorious
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