I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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