So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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