Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
