piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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