plz talk dirty to me
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
