You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
