just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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