I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
