I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
