She said her name was "party"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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