This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
