That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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