I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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