U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
