I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
