im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
