I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
