do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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