What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
