he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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