"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
