I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You ruined the universe
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
